In spite of the fact that motherhood is surrounded by an aura of tenderness, universal love for all around and inescapable goodness, quite tough and almost pervasive hazing flourishes in this environment.
No matter how hard it is to believe, mothers are very jealous of their service life, they rarely give descent to young people and are terribly proud of their own status, which over time becomes stronger and stronger, gaining prestige among new ones.
It would seem that this should be beneficial – more experienced mothers share their accumulated knowledge with young colleagues, the continuity of generations and mutual assistance. However, each of us can recall episodes in which we had to deal with the arrogance and disregard of those who stood on a step in the conditional hierarchical mother’s ladder.
above. This staircase looks like this.
At that moment, when you look round with surprise at the two strips of dough, know: you have become in spirit. Now, any pregnant woman whose term is longer than yours even for a week has the right to poke your nose at your inexperience and confusion. This may be expressed in the arrogant rejection of your fears, questions, or naive assumptions, or it may be in a casual, offensive phrase thrown away. You still have to come to my term! It is difficult to say where this desire to devalue the emotions of colleagues in the workshop comes from, because without exception, future mothers are experiencing the same thing, it is a law of nature.
When you already have a fresh newborn baby on your hands, you move to the next level and become a motherloader. Whatever all the clever books in the world have written about the innate maternal instinct, you can hardly do anything with the child. And all the mothers, whose children are even a couple of weeks older than yours, hiding indulgent smiles, begin to read you notations, which are called good advice in the world.
No, it does not look like a moral, your neighbor in the stairwell just throws, looking at your baby in a scream when you go on a walk with you in the first time in your life: Wow, I never cried at my place. And you immediately want to fall into the elevator shaft from how bad you are.
Salaga period is the most difficult. You need to make your own point of view on a lot of controversial and very individual things – vaccinations, bathing, slings, strollers, cleaning the nose and ears, picking up rattles, sleeping together. In the meantime, do not make up – be prepared for such phrases and filter them out, because they have nothing to do with your motherhood.
The next step in the ladder of the bullying mother is directly grandfathers. These are happy owners of two-year-olds who have already gone through a period of postpartum depression, most of them have stopped breastfeeding, have become accustomed to their role as mothers and have enough free time.
They forgot the period of pregnancy, can hardly tell about childbirth, completely erased from their memory the first terrible months of constant lack of sleep and global confusion. Perhaps it is for this reason that they so easily brush off the problems and questions of those whose children are younger. The difficulties of others seem to their grandfathers to be far-fetched (Here’s a crisis of two years – yes, your infantile colic doesn’t work like that!), And the questions are stupid (I learned everything on the Internet!)
Demob – the most honorable position. These are those who have more than one child. Usually it is peaceful and not particularly willing to argue and get involved with the uninvited advice of the mother, with a bunch of cases and a minimum of time. Paradoxically, but they should ask for advice and share their concerns – the demobling mother is relaxed, she doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone and she really is ready to help you if you ask her.
Have you ever come across mama hazing?