Practicing crisis psychologist. ICDP President Ukr aine.
Member of the Board of the National Psychological Association.
Coach of the International Child Development Program, founder and deputy head of the public association “Association of Children’s and Family Psychologists of Ukraine”.
“Calm, only calm!”, The cheerful and resourceful Carlson controlled any situation … How can you stay in a good mood if the child is constantly naughty, screaming, tearing, beating and even fighting? And your arguments about how to do this cannot be left unheard and even unnoticed …
Why is this happening? How to teach a child to control their emotions? How can a child be able to master such necessary skills?
A person is able to show emotions from the first minutes of his life. With their help, the baby communicates with the world around him. And through them, the environment, in turn, teaches him to react to events. If the mother was frightened by the sudden emergence of loud music, the child, having read fear on her face, will begin to cry loudly, frightened with her.
If the mom’s reaction to a sudden loud sound is a smile, the child will smile back. In this way, mother teaches her to grieve and rejoice, worry and stay calm, get annoyed, be surprised, have fun.
Children learn to respond to different events in the same way as adults who are nearby. In order to learn to regulate something, it is necessary to clearly understand what exactly we are going to manage.
Parents should teach their child to distinguish between emotions. The easiest way to learn a new word is to hear it in context.
So, learn to teach:
- Communicating with the child, call your own and his emotions.
- Talk about what emotions and feelings are, how to react to them.
- Draw on paper faces with different emotions: joy, sadness, surprise and. etc. Draw examples on your face. Have the child display them yourself. Arrange a quiz with guessing emotions.
- Play with the child, depicting the behavior of animals (as an angry wolf growls, a cowardly bunny jumps, a kitten rejoices, etc.).
- Choose films where, in your opinion, the characters live in different emotional states. Together, watch them, read stories, tales, rhymes, and analyze the behavior of the characters.
The emotional sphere affects relationships with others. An adult can be difficult to become the master of his emotions, learn to manage them. A small child, the psyche of which has not yet been formed, this skill is given even harder. That is why it is important to teach a child to protect their emotions ecologically safely.
To begin with, we will accept the statement that there are no bad or good emotions. Emotions can be pleasant and unpleasant. Why? Can something bad benefit?
Fear, for example, can warn of danger. Dissatisfaction, anger make something change in life for the better, encouraging to action, help to move towards the goal. In the end, it is perfectly normal to experience the whole diverse range of emotions.
Due to the emotional richness, a person is able to feel the fullness of life with its bright colors, warm, light, and sometimes cold shades. Another thing is the behavior caused by these emotions. Here it can be good or bad. Separate emotions from behavior.
The mistake of many parents is that they successfully encourage positive emotions and feelings, but at the same time consider the negative emotional manifestations of the child unacceptable.
Children, wanting to meet the expectations of their parents, begin to hide their fear, anger, anger. Hidden, hidden and accumulated negative emotions usually lead to mental stress and frustration.
There is a pattern: if a child has a strong emotional overstrain, his cognitive need drops. What is happening around him does not interest. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to give an outlet to all emotions, to lower them. In order not to harm the baby, strong experiences should not be expressed impulsively.
There are a number of soft ways to relieve tension, however, they will help the child learn to express their emotions:
- Listen to the baby. It is much easier to tell adults about their troubles if they really listen.
- Concentrate the attention of the child on positive emotions, it will help him, in the future, it is easy to find a reason for joy.
- Capture and fix a positive “sunny, bright emotion” with the help of pleasant memories.
- Teach your child to manage emotions through games:
- Imagine yourself as the robot you just turned on. Strain your arms and legs with all your strength. Suddenly, the robot is disconnected from the power supply – relax sharply (at these moments, children usually fall to the floor).
- Allow the child to get angry and beat the pillow.
- Arrange the battle with paper snowballs. They can be made by smashing an unnecessary newspaper.
- Invite a child to remember fun, interesting moments from life, remembering that he will smile. Then – sad stories. Talk about changing his state. Be sure to fix the “bright emotion.”
- Draw with your child sad, angry, frightened, surprised, funny, happy lines.
It happens that a child knows how to “let off steam.” If you are back home, and on the threshold you are met by a weakened grandmother and a beloved child, the floor banging with fists and heels, with an increasing desire to continue the work begun. The main thing is calm.
Take a sheet of paper, notebook and pencil. Go down to the child and offer to show on paper how angry he is. Draw a picture of what he feels now. If the child has not responded to such a proposal, begin to draw yourself, saying that you feel.
Remember: in a calm state it is easier for us to control our emotions and feelings.
You can help yourself to recover a good emotional state in a matter of minutes:
- Close your eyes.
- Take a deep breath and exhale even deeper. Repeat three such breathing cycles.
- Remember the positive moments of your life (do not remember much and for a long time, stop at the first one that was remembered). Concentrate on this memory.
- Move everything positive from the head to the chest area.
Well, if your memories will be associated with the child. Spend time on the emotional development of your baby. It’s great if both of you have the experience of living bright, memorable stories colored with a palette of pleasant, tasty, incendiary emotions.
Editorial opinion may not coincide with the opinion of the author of the article.